As we gear up for our panel discussion on March 5, we will be featuring interviews with our four panelists.
Kiana Shaw is a master life coach and two-time best-selling author. She is the founder and CEO of LeadHERship Academy, a virtual community for parents to connect and share tips to help them communicate with their teens. Today, she talks with us about communication between men and women.
How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships? By opening their mouths and being honest and open upfront. My boyfriend said to me one day, “no one says, hi, my name is… and I am crazy as hell”. So I immediately said, “Hi, my name is Kiana and I am crazy as hell and I want you to love me anyway!”. Holding in our communication because we are afraid of being viewed as insecure is detrimental to our relationships. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, because people love authentic people and no one likes a person who changes up after we have let them into our lives.
How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions? Women need to be less emotional in work and business. Men are problem solvers so they think logically and that can come off hard and rude, so they need to be aware of this and adjust.
What hinders positive communication? Lies. Fear. Anger
Do you think people say what they really mean most of the time or do they say what they believe the other wants to hear? I think it depends on who they are speaking with. Most of us don’t feel free to be open or ourselves with most people. We save it for the people we are closest to who will hold our truths in confidence. When we are in a relationship, we have to be willing to allow the other person to share with us without judgment.
Do you think males hear differently than females? How so? Of course! Men hear mentally. Women hear emotionally. It is how we are wired.
When a man tells his wife/girlfriend, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.” What do you hear? What do you think most women hear? That depends on their history and how secure she is within that relationship. Let me be clear, not being secure in your relationship is not a direct correlation to being an insecure woman. Now that that is straight, let me say this: If a man has lied to his woman, cheated on her or given her a reason to doubt him, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight” is translated into, “I may or may not be out doing something you would leave me for if you knew about it.” If she has never had a reason to doubt him, she hears, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.”
What do you want participants to take away from your presentation? I want them to take away ways to communicate and have healthy and productive relationships.
What would you consider to be the long-term effects of better communication between couples? Joyful marriages.
What about between co-workers and business associates? Productive partnerships.
How will this change impact families and community? They will be examples to the people watching and following them.
Join Kiana for our Panel Discussion: Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? On Saturday, March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner AME Church in Los Angeles. See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends here.