THE NEW NORMAL

On March 26th, 2013 we celebrated the tenth annual Be Good To Women Day with a prayer vigil at Bryant Temple AME church. Many of the women in attendance expressed their appreciation for the moving spiritual outpouring of love and respect from the men towards them and the children who were with us in the sanctuary. One woman who was there with her three children said, “I feel hopeful. This has given me hope”

However, on that following Sunday, March 31st, Resurrection Day, two women had their cars broken into on the parking  lot, while attending Sunrise Service at the very church where the prayer vigil had taken place, and it was evident by the timing of the “smash and grab” that the women had been watched as they went into the church building. “I went back to check on my car after realizing that I had rushed out and left my purse in plain sight”, one of the women said,” but I was too late. Two men who are members of our church said they’d noticed a couple of strange guys hanging about but why didn’t they say anything? Why didn’t they have our back?”

Why didn’t they have our back. It has been said quite often that there are two times you can depend on satan, [the small S is intentional], to rear his head: right before you are about to be given a Blessing so that he can distract you from receiving it and right after receiving a Blessing so that he can steal your joy. It has also been written that we are most vulnerable after winning an important victory because we let our guard down and become lax.

Both of these statements ring true but there is a more pressing realization. We must come to understand that being good to women, i e,  giving women respect, appreciation and LOVE is not a special once a year event. It must become as naturally occurring as sexism, physical and emotional abuse and mental cruelty are presently. Unless there is a paradigm shift where the treatment of women is concerned we will continue to have an increase of violence in our homes, our communities, our cities and our world.   Being good to women must become the new normal.

Brad Sanders, Co-Founder

Be Good To Women Day

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Thank you to Bryant Temple AME Church for opening your doors to the Tenth Annual  Be Good To Women Day prayer Vigil. Reverend DR. Clyde W Oden JR pastor, and the BT-AME church family have been instrumental in making the event a success and furthering the movement for change in the diminution of, and violence against, women.

Special thanks to Nicole and Barbra Curry for all of your hard work and to Reverend Joyce Kitchen of Emmanuel Turner AME and her son Reverend Charles Johnson of Corona Community AME for bringing a powerful word of hope. The Holy Spirit moved in a major way.

As a result of your work we have been encouraged to press on toward the mark of the High calling of blessing our communities by Blessing our women.

Thank God! And Again, THANK YOU,

Deya Smith And Brad Sanders Co-Founders

A GOOD MAN SPEAKS OUT

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A Note from M.L. Carr, former Boston Celtics Player and Head Coach, and a member of the Futures Without Violence Board of Directors:

M.L. CarrDear Brad,

While there’s been plenty of attention this past week on Steubenville, Ohio, where two star athletes on the high school football team were convicted of raping a 16-year-old girl, I’ve also had my eyes on Portland, Maine, where a high school basketball coach named Phil Conley used the Coaching Boys into Men (CBIM) program with his varsity team.

As a former NBA player and coach who knows the potential of such a program to positively transform the chemistry and culture of high school sports, I find myself asking this: What if the football coaches in Steubenville had been given the tools they need to talk to players about respecting women and girls? What if they had taught their athletes that violence never equals strength and rape is a criminal act?

For those who may not know, I had the privilege of working with Futures Without Violence to conceive the 12-week CBIM program and curriculum.  It’s amazing how over time, CBIM has expanded to reach thousands of high school coaches – motivating them to teach young athletes about respect for women and healthy relationships.  “I firmly believe that this (program) brought my team together to where it is today,” says Conley, whose team made it to the finals of the Class A State championship.  Each week, Coach Conley used the CBIM Coaches Kit to lead the conversation about personal responsibility and speaking out against dating abuse.

We need to blow the whistle on bad behavior instead of texting or tweeting it in social media.  Now is the time to give schools, teachers, coaches and students the tools they need to prevent and end sexual assault.  Coaching Boys into Men programs are up and running in towns as diverse as Sacramento, California; Dallas, Texas; and Grand Forks, North Dakota, and it’s been proven that CBIM has a valuable effect on bystander behavior.

But we need MORE of them to avoid another Steubenville.

Will you join me?  For a gift of $100, a Coaching Boys into Men kit and curriculum can be provided to TWO high school coaches.  Click HERE to make this a reality today.

Respectfully,

M.L. Carr