As we prepare for our upcoming panel discussion on March 5, we want to feature our panelists. Today, we meet Rev. Dr. Charles Lee-Johnson.
Dr. Charles Lee Johnson is the pastor of Corona Community Church. He is also CEO of the National Family Life and Education Center which provides local, national and international consultation and training services. Dr. Johnson is unequivocally committed to positive development of young people, families and communities across the world. We are honored to have him as a panelist for “Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You?”
Why is positive communication between men and women important to you personally?
Families are the manufacturing agencies in which people are produced. When the manufacturing agency is broken, it produces a broken product, and Broken families produce broken people. While many people focus on repairing families by seeking to fix individuals, and others seek to address social issues that are impacting families, history is a clear teacher that healthy communication is the glue that holds families together. I was blessed to have a wonderful mother, but I had a father whose alcoholism and crack cocaine abuse prevented him from being involved in my rearing. Even after he recovered, my biological father lacked the ability to effectively and positively communicate with my mother, which led to his being absent in my life. I decided very early in my life, to work on being a great communicator, in an effort to prevent the latter phases of my life from being as broken as the former. The cycle of pain that could have engulfed my marriage and children has been broken, because of the early and conscious decision I made to be a good communicator.
How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships?
Most people are very egocentric, in the fact that we believe everyone communicates the way we do. This ignores the fact that there are a plethora of communication styles, and most of our personal communication styles were developed in our respective families. In other words, the culture of our families dictates our communication style. Those who seek to have healthy relationships must be intentional in understanding the family context and communication style of their partner. Failure to understand a partner’s family of origin, childhood rearing, or communication style, will prohibit true intimacy in any relationship. Communication requires hard work by both parties to seek first to understand, then to be understood.
How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions?
Respect is key, if there is to be positive communication between men and women in the workplace. Men must approach women from a position of humility, honor, grace, kindness, and fairness. Women must approach men from a position of humility, gentleness, sensitivity, and understanding. Men and Women bring unique gifts and perspectives to the workplace, and knowing how to effectively work together through positive communication can lead to growth and prosperity for the company and its employees.
In your work; i.e., counseling or coaching others, What percentage of the problems between men and women stem from miscommunication?
Nearly 90% of the issues that couples bring to me as a counselor and Pastor are rooted in unhealthy communication habits. While most couples come to counseling seeking an immediate remedy for their presenting issue, I always try to get couples to address the larger communication issues that exist within their relationship; which are, quite often, driving the very behavior within their significant other that they abhor. This requires spending significant time understanding the childhood experiences of their partner, which are always the primary influence on our communication styles. Couples who are patient and courageous enough to take this journey, experience an intimacy that allows them to overcome nearly any adversity.
Read the interviews with our other panelists here and join us March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner Church in Los Angeles for Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends and family here.