Tag Archives: Be Good to Women Day

Meet the Panelists: Rev. Dr. Charles Lee-Johnson

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As we prepare for our upcoming panel discussion on March 5, we want to feature our panelists. Today, we meet Rev. Dr. Charles Lee-Johnson.

Dr. Charles Lee Johnson is the pastor of Corona Community Church. He is also CEO of the National Family Life and Education Center which provides local, national and international consultation and training services. Dr. Johnson is unequivocally committed to positive development of young people, families and communities across the world. We are honored to have him as a panelist for “Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You?”

Pic of Charles 5Why is positive communication between men and women important to you personally?
Families are the manufacturing agencies in which people are produced.  When the manufacturing agency is broken, it produces a broken product, and Broken families produce broken people.  While many people focus on repairing families by seeking to fix individuals, and others seek to address social issues that are impacting families, history is a clear teacher that healthy communication is the glue that holds families together.  I was blessed to have a wonderful mother, but I had a father whose alcoholism and crack cocaine abuse prevented him from being involved in my rearing.  Even after he recovered, my biological father lacked the ability to effectively and positively communicate with my mother, which led to his being absent in my life.  I decided very early in my life, to work on being a great communicator, in an effort to prevent the latter phases of my life from being as broken as the former.  The cycle of pain that could have engulfed my marriage and children has been broken, because of the early and conscious decision I made to be a good communicator.

How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships?
Most people are very egocentric, in the fact that we believe everyone communicates the way we do.  This ignores the fact that there are a plethora of communication styles, and most of our personal communication styles were developed in our respective families.  In other words, the culture of our families dictates our communication style.  Those who seek to have healthy relationships must be intentional in understanding the family context and communication style of their partner.  Failure to understand a partner’s family of origin, childhood rearing, or communication style, will prohibit true intimacy in any relationship.  Communication requires hard work by both parties to seek first to understand, then to be understood.

How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions?
Respect is key, if there is to be positive communication between men and women in the workplace.  Men must approach women from a position of humility, honor, grace, kindness, and fairness.  Women must approach men from a position of humility, gentleness, sensitivity, and understanding.  Men and Women bring unique gifts and perspectives to the workplace, and knowing how to effectively work together through positive communication can lead to growth and prosperity for the company and its employees.

In your work; i.e., counseling or coaching others, What percentage of the problems between men and women stem from miscommunication?

Nearly 90% of the issues that couples bring to me as a counselor and Pastor are rooted in unhealthy communication habits.  While most couples come to counseling seeking an immediate remedy for their presenting issue, I always try to get couples to address the larger communication issues that exist within their relationship; which are, quite often, driving the very behavior within their significant other that they abhor.  This requires spending significant time understanding the childhood experiences of their partner, which are always the primary influence on our communication styles.  Couples who are patient and courageous enough to take this journey, experience an intimacy that allows them to overcome nearly any adversity.

Read the interviews with our other panelists here and join us March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner Church in Los Angeles for Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends and family here.

Meet the Panelists: Kiana Shaw, Life Coach

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As we gear up for our panel discussion on March 5, we will be featuring interviews with our four panelists.

kianaKiana Shaw is a master life coach and two-time best-selling author. She is the founder and CEO of LeadHERship Academy, a virtual community for parents to connect and share tips to help them communicate with their teens. Today, she talks with us about communication between men and women.

How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships? By opening their mouths and being honest and open upfront. My boyfriend said to me one day, “no one says, hi, my name is… and I am crazy as hell”. So I immediately said, “Hi, my name is Kiana and I am crazy as hell and I want you to love me anyway!”. Holding in our communication because we are afraid of being viewed as insecure is detrimental to our relationships. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, because people love authentic people and no one likes a person who changes up after we have let them into our lives.

How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions? Women need to be less emotional in work and business. Men are problem solvers so they think logically and that can come off hard and rude, so they need to be aware of this and adjust.

What hinders positive communication? Lies. Fear. Anger

Do you think people say what they really mean most of the time or do they say what they believe the other wants to hear? I think it depends on who they are speaking with. Most of us don’t feel free to be open or ourselves with most people. We save it for the people we are closest to who will hold our truths in confidence. When we are in a relationship, we have to be willing to allow the other person to share with us without judgment.

Do you think males hear differently than females? How so? Of course! Men hear mentally. Women hear emotionally. It is how we are wired.

When a man tells his wife/girlfriend, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.” What do you hear? What do you think most women hear? That depends on their history and how secure she is within that relationship. Let me be clear, not being secure in your relationship is not a direct correlation to being an insecure woman. Now that that is straight, let me say this: If a man has lied to his woman, cheated on her or given her a reason to doubt him, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight” is translated into, “I may or may not be out doing something you would leave me for if you knew about it.” If she has never had a reason to doubt him, she hears, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.”

What do you want participants to take away from your presentation? I want them to take away ways to communicate and have healthy and productive relationships.

What would you consider to be the long-term effects of better communication between couples? Joyful marriages.

What about between co-workers and business associates? Productive partnerships.

How will this change impact families and community? They will be examples to the people watching and following them.

 

Join Kiana for our Panel Discussion: Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? On Saturday, March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner AME Church in Los Angeles. See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends here.