Meet the Panelists: Kiana Shaw, Life Coach

As we gear up for our panel discussion on March 5, we will be featuring interviews with our four panelists.

kianaKiana Shaw is a master life coach and two-time best-selling author. She is the founder and CEO of LeadHERship Academy, a virtual community for parents to connect and share tips to help them communicate with their teens. Today, she talks with us about communication between men and women.

How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships? By opening their mouths and being honest and open upfront. My boyfriend said to me one day, “no one says, hi, my name is… and I am crazy as hell”. So I immediately said, “Hi, my name is Kiana and I am crazy as hell and I want you to love me anyway!”. Holding in our communication because we are afraid of being viewed as insecure is detrimental to our relationships. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, because people love authentic people and no one likes a person who changes up after we have let them into our lives.

How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions? Women need to be less emotional in work and business. Men are problem solvers so they think logically and that can come off hard and rude, so they need to be aware of this and adjust.

What hinders positive communication? Lies. Fear. Anger

Do you think people say what they really mean most of the time or do they say what they believe the other wants to hear? I think it depends on who they are speaking with. Most of us don’t feel free to be open or ourselves with most people. We save it for the people we are closest to who will hold our truths in confidence. When we are in a relationship, we have to be willing to allow the other person to share with us without judgment.

Do you think males hear differently than females? How so? Of course! Men hear mentally. Women hear emotionally. It is how we are wired.

When a man tells his wife/girlfriend, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.” What do you hear? What do you think most women hear? That depends on their history and how secure she is within that relationship. Let me be clear, not being secure in your relationship is not a direct correlation to being an insecure woman. Now that that is straight, let me say this: If a man has lied to his woman, cheated on her or given her a reason to doubt him, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight” is translated into, “I may or may not be out doing something you would leave me for if you knew about it.” If she has never had a reason to doubt him, she hears, “I’m gonna hang out with the guys tonight.”

What do you want participants to take away from your presentation? I want them to take away ways to communicate and have healthy and productive relationships.

What would you consider to be the long-term effects of better communication between couples? Joyful marriages.

What about between co-workers and business associates? Productive partnerships.

How will this change impact families and community? They will be examples to the people watching and following them.


Join Kiana for our Panel Discussion: Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? On Saturday, March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner AME Church in Los Angeles. See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends here.


Reprinted from: THE SUNDIAL CSUN Press

The Clothesline Project surrounded the Take Back the Night event at the Plaza del Sol in the Student Union Thursday evening. Many people participated by writing or painting on blank T-shirts. Daily Sundial Staff Photo

Approximately 200 people gathered in front of the Women’s Research Center to “Take Back the Night” by speaking up about sexual violence and reclaiming their lives.

The event, which included a variety of guest speakers, began at Plaza del Sol in the University Student Union (USU). Sheena Malhotra, chair of Gender and Women Studies Department started off the night.

“We are here today to be a part of the healing,” Malhotra said. “We are here to celebrate the fact that we are all survivors. We have to do no less than reclaim our streets, our homes and our lives.”

Attendees, which included women and men, had the  opportunity to paint picket signs and T-shirts that where hung on a clothesline at Plaza del Sol.  Some of the shirts read, “Speak up, silence kills,” and a shirt with blue and purple painted blobs read, “This was my face, never again.”

The crowd later marched about a mile to the Women’s Research Center on Halsted Street where people shared their stories.
Guest speaker Yazmin Watkins, a spoken word artist, read three poems throughout the night.

Members of the Blues Project also read a poem and were followed by a short skit from V-Day’s “Vagina Monologues.”

Bamby Salcedo, project coordinator for the Transgender Harm Reduction Project with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, continued the event with a speech in English and Spanish about her transgender female experiences with violence.

“We don’t need to have a vagina for us to let you know that we are also women,” Salcedo said. “We as a community, and as women, go through the same issues. We also go through sexual abuse, we also get raped.”

Also at the event was West Hollywood Councilmember Lindsey Horvath who said her number one priority is to make sure  “safety exist for everyone.”

“Twenty percent of female college students answered yes when they were asked if they were forced to submit to sexual abuse against their will,” Horvath said. “This is unacceptable on college campuses. It is unacceptable for women to feel unsafe in the place where they are trying to learn.”

This was psychology major Rosa Gudial’s first time attending “Take Back the Night.”

“I read about the event in the Daily Sundial and something told me to come, so I’m here,” Gudial, 23, said. “It’s all about togetherness and that’s what I like, together to stop violence. It needs to be talked about more.”

During up and coming rock group Prohibition Rose’s performance, candles were distributed and lit.

“We had 145 candles and they were all gone and more people came afterwards,” said Shira Brown, director of the Women’s Research and Resource Center.

Afterwards, almost 20 men and women shared their stories, which varied from date rape, incest, verbal abuse, to physical abuse.

“We love you, we support you” shouted the audience when victims would get emotional or start to blame themselves.

Dorian Adams-Wilson, 25, a senior and gender and women studies major helped coordinate the event and described the outcome as “amazing.”

“It was very open and colorful and diverse and fresh,” Adams-Wilson said. “We’ve been preparing for this since October 2009.”

Brown was also very pleased with the outcome.

“I think it was a huge success. I think that we had some really courageous men and women get up to speak and I’m empowered by them all and their stories,” Brown said. “I really feel rejuvenated and like I’m ready to do the next thing. I’m hoping that this fuels the fire that’s within everybody to make change and do whatever it is they need to do to heal and to find their future, whatever it is.”

Be Good To Women Day: Not Just For Women, It’s For Everyone

Los Angeles, CA – Exciting plans are underway for the 12th annual Be Good To Women Day. Held in March, during Women’s History Month, its mission is to eliminate damaging words, images and behaviors toward women and girls; and to promote a culture of equality, respect and love through education and advocacy for the benefit of all. BGTWD Press Release – 2015 v2

We Need Your Support!

Be Good to Women Day and the Be Good to Women Collective is a national movement that was created in 2003 to eliminate damaging words, images and behaviors toward women and girls to promote a culture of equality, respect and love through education and advocacy to benefit all.

Be Good to Women Day (BGTWD) organizes and hosts community forums, prayer vigils and other events that educate men and women and promote spiritual and emotional healing.

Can you help us by making a contribution?

  1. Send your check payable to:

    Emmanuel-Henry McNeil Turner AME Church

    5200 South Compton Ave.
    Los Angeles, California 90011

     (write BGTWD in the memo section)

Proceeds will be used to secure venues for various events, produce educational videos and cover promotional and other related expenses. We appreciate your thoughtful consideration.




She is a messenger of God because she listens to and knows the voice of God quite well. She is a mother who has helped to raise a boy into a man. She is a wife. She is a leader. She is Reverend Joyce Reese Kitchen, Pastor of Emmanuel-Turner AME Church of Los Angeles, California. Hear what thus said the Lord through this anointed vessel at the 2014 Be Good To Women Day Prayer Vigil.

Reverend Doctor Monica A. Coleman BGTWD-2014

Rev. Dr. Monica A. Coleman, associate professor of constructive theology and African-American religions and co-director of the Center for Process Studies at the Claremont School of Theology was on of the powerful speakers for Be Good To Women Day 2014. Her words have a lasting impact. Hear what thus said the Lord through this obedient messenger.