Dr. Verda Bradley Ph.D, LCSW, is licensed by the American Board Of Clinical Social Workers, she is a board certified diplomat and CEO of the Bradley-Glen Behavioral Health Association. We are thankful to have her expert advice and insight for men and women who want to improve their communication with one another.
Why is positive communication between men and women important to you personally? Communication is the essence of living in this world. Positive communication strengthens my values, my faith and gives insight into my behavior. I learn through communing. Positive feedback can provide an accurate perception of one’s personal reality. Men and women are fundamentally different. We are not only biologically different but there are psychological differences as well. I have daughters and watching them play as children was interesting and different from my grandsons play. The rules were set up differently and the consequences of breaking those rules also differed. Generally men are solution driven while many women like to discuss feelings. When there is a problem men like a resolution but sometimes women just want to revisit the issue one more time.
How can men and women communicate better in dating and married relationships? By expressing their wants, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct and honest way that is respectful to each person. Dr. Theodor Reik suggests in ” Listening with the Third Ear” that we listen to the other person attempting to get our own needs met but we must also try to meet the needs of other person as much as possible; listening and negotiating so that the other person wants to choose to cooperate because they too are getting something out of the interaction.
How can women and men communicate better in work place/business interactions? Each person needs to make requests in a way that is respectful, providing priorities and clear goals to be achieved.
What hinders positive communication? Do you think people say what they really mean most of the time or do they say what they believe the other wants to hear? Often, our communication style is similar to messages we received when growing up. If we grew up surrounded by people who communicated in a passive/ aggressive style, that is how we learned to deal with messages. Many people need to learn how to say no or yes in a way that doesn’t damage the relationship while acting in accordance with personal values and morals.
Read the interviews with our other panelists here and join us March 5 at Emmanuel HM Turner Church in Los Angeles for Are You Hearing Me? Am I Hearing You? See all the details, RSVP, and invite your friends and family here.